I've had to risk relationships ending due to being forthright. It's fair for the other person to know what they are dealing with. If the other person really wants to be with you, it would be wise to give advance notice so he has the freedom to make preparations. Telling him day before leave isn't gonna work.
Get some space from her if she can't accept that response. It is in the best interest of the relationship and your own mental health to cut off these fights before they start. So be it it if she ends up at her parents again.
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