I guess, the problem is some kind of serious trust issue. I think I have pinpointed my parent's divorce as the reason, but then again I'm not a psychologist, just an amateur that majored in it for a few semesters lol. But on that note, one of my very first memories was what I considered to be a senseless separation of them, and I literally couldn't understand why because even as a toddler I could sense that it was not lack of love that drove them apart. Turns out it was her father, who told her to leave him or he would cut her off from college funding and what have you (he was a dropout who played in a band and partied etc, the worst enemy of a Conservative/Patriarch/iron fist father). Even now, 20 years later, she treats him like the Devil for absolutely no other conceivable reason, and he still loves her. So I think there is a subconscious fear that I will be betrayed in the very worst of ways just like my father was, which just happened to be one of my very first memories, and I remember coming across something in one of my Personality courses that your earliest memories often help shape who you are. That seems like the most likely culprit. I've been like this ever since my first real girlfriend at age 13, when I couldn't kiss her and she dumped me so it's not like I have a failed romance to blame; the pattern has existed from the very beginning so it precedes that.
That being said, I'd also recommend you stay off-line a little bit or take turns chatting each other up. For example, make sure you let her start the conversation once in awhile. You're a guy so I'd say the ratio should be something like 1:2 - she should start it once for every two times you do. That way you can gauge her interest level and not over-crowd her.
Yes, I started feeling that more and more about her projecting onto me what she's doing. Constantly accusing me to the point that if I saw a girl walk into my apartment gym, I made sure NOT to look in that direction. I looked at the floor, looked at my phone while I was waiting for her to finish her set, looked at the opposite side of the gym even just to look at the wall or stare at a piece of equipment and still she finishes her set and tells me to close my mouth (like it was open in awe). I was touching my tooth with my tongue so my mouth popped open but I was staring at my phone at the time. I was thinking I just can't win and how am I going to live like this? She had said once that ALL guys cheat since her exes cheated on her. I said NOT ALL GUYS CHEAT! Women cheat just as much as guy do. She says that's not true. No matter what I say, she claims that women are always faithful? WTF? She's not relationship material.
I often brought that up that she was bipolar. She could just snap at the drop of a hat. We could be out for dinner with the Queen of England and if she was mad about something she would make a big scene REGARDLESS of who was watching. Another problem with that type of behaviour, no discretion, which can make it hard for the person with them. I always told her she needed counselling in the most delicate way possible. However, you never tell a crazy person they are crazy. That'll just make it worse.
I live with my daughter (50% of the time). My two older boys are in college. For those of you who have kids may understand that even with only one child at home, life can be very busy with their.
Haha. That's what everyone says when I tell them what I've been recently working on. It doesn't mean that I'm smart. It just means that the crap is so specialised that it sounds impressive, yet marginalises most people to the extent of "that's cool."
Just be done with him for good.
I'm not single, but am looking for a female to join me and my girl for some fun. No guys, no couples. Must be clean, discreet, and disease free. 420 friendly but nothing beyond that, as far as drug.
Originally Posted by BetrayedLady
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