Its that girl again..
heavenly gap and body
Since then our relationship had her ups and downs. we are together, officially. We live together, I met his family and soon he'll meet my mother since she's coming to visit. I know I love him and that he loves me. Sometimes I feel it very strongly, but sometimes, when I see/hear things that reminds me of the country everything happened him, I feel like I hate him. For a while I kept thinking about what happened every morning, I cried and felt sick when I imagined him having sex with our so-called "friend", I couldn't let him give me oral sex cause it made me remember the girl from the threesome. Many times when we had sex I imagined myself as one of the other girls, thinking that this was her "view" when he was on top of her.. I don't think about these things anymore. We have talked about the past a few times, but I still don't feel like I completely got it "out of my system". There is a trace of these things still.
When I got back from vacation my co-worker was ice and ice cold towards me (verbally and in terms of body language: crossed arms, etc...) and since I had started liking her quit a bit by now and was already feeling pretty badly because of the decision I had made I basically crumbled and spend the rest of the workweek being nervous and quiet. My co-worker also became very nervous and quiet around me. That weekend I broke up with my girlfriend and the next week I told my co-worker about it when we were assigned to work together in the same office room. She immediately told me she was having similar troubles with her boyfriend (and in later conversations it really sounded similar to my own experience) and we spent the day like we were completely comfortable around each other again. Then the next day her nervousness and negative body language were back, she really seemed to be avoiding me.
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